Oct. 10, 2019

It's Complicated


“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” Matthew 18:15

It took me 60 years, but I finally realized (and confessed) that I am not going to get along with everyone. I’ve been a peacemaker for most of my life; and a troublemaker for several years <hee hee>. With maturity comes the realization, I cannot fix people. I can love them. I can pray for them. I can seek to reconcile with them, but I know now that I will not always be friends with all of those who cross my path. Both on Facebook and in real life.

However, there is a stipulation. I don’t get to talk about people behind their backs just because I don’t get along with them to their faces. God’s word is very clear that we should attempt to resolve our disputes with the persons involved. If I, instead, go to a mutual friend or family member and voice my dislike or disagreement with another person, I am gossiping. I am sinning.

The concept is called “triangulation.” In relationships, when we refuse to talk to one another and seek to talk through a third party (other than a qualified mediator), we triangulate the issue. If we pull another person into our discord, we chalk up another sin – sowing discord among the brethren. 

We make conflict complicated when we refuse to confront the person involved but are willing to pull in everyone else around us. Spiritual and emotional maturity is evident in how we address our differences. 

If you have something to say to me or about me, come to me. Let’s work it out. If you involve someone else in our problem, you’ve made it much more difficult to resolve the issue. I will make a promise to anyone reading this blog: If I have a problem with you, you will know it. Not only that, you will know it firsthand. I am the same person behind your back that I am to your face. 

And, just because I blog about something doesn’t necessarily mean I’m talking about me or you. <wink> I write as I am led. I often ask, “Lord, where did that come from?” I trust He believes somebody out there needs the message. That’s not “triangulation.” It’s called, “inspiration.”