Feb. 19, 2018

From Heart to Page


The news is too much. Seeing the faces, hearing the stories – it’s simply too much. It’s at that moment I realize that the families can’t turn it off. They can’t walk away. I know moving on means letting go and accepting that with each and every shooting, we are different people; we are a different nation.  We lose more and more of our humanity everytime a body hits the ground.

I got off Facebook. I turned off the TV. I put on Natalie Grant’s album. I began to write a poem. Writing comes from the heart. Writing poetry comes from the soul.

I hope I don’t confuse you too much. As I wrote the poem, this song encouraged calm. It was amazing how lines in the song came at just the right moment. I like to look at this spiritual process as Confusion – Expression – Revelation. Psalmists used the process repeatedly. After expressing it, the Lord gave me the final four lines of the poem during church yesterday.

“You’re restoring me piece by piece.”

Bitter, bitter

The taste is so bitter

The bitter taste of hate

Bitter, bitter

The feelings are bitter

A feeling of anger and rage

“I see shattered; You see whole.”

Bitterness rules

Despite the prayers and praise

I want to hold on and be bitter

I don’t care what people say

“There’s nothing too dirty that You can’t make worthy.”

I’m so disappointed

The bitterness surely rules

For just a moment I will be bitter

Kids are being killed in their schools

“What was dead now lives again.”

I cannot take the jokes

I cannot take the refusal to act

I am so very bitter

To see how badly Your church lacks

“And You’re helping me to believe.”

It is hard for me to tell

Just who belongs to You

I am looking through eyes of bitterness

And there’s nothing I can do

I know bitterness can be healed

When forgiveness overrules

How do I forgive those who could care less

That children are being killed in school

“I’m coming alive with joy and destiny!”

This time is different…deeper…more intense

The bitterness rises within me

I know it doesn’t make sense

It’s been a longtime building

With bitterness deep inside

I’m disillusioned by so many

To fake love would be a lie

I know Christ saw life’s ugliness

In the bitterness of others

He must have felt so all alone

Trying to teach us to love one another

I don’t want to love; I want to be bitter

I never want to forget

I know my bitterness is a sin

But, I cannot let go of it yet

“My dirty rags are purified – I am clean.”

I am physically ill

I am broken and hurt

Perhaps it would be best

If I didn’t utter a single word

“Your blood flowed red and made me white.”

This deep bitterness inside me

Doesn’t seem to go away

I am judging every person

What they think

What they say

“Nothing too dirty…”

How they cling to their guns

And grow bitter if they feel threatened

God, where are You?

Please hurry up and teach us

Your lesson

“You make me clean.”

What I must remember

Although all of this is true

None of it lasts very long

When my eyes are focused on YOU

By Roni Archer - February 17, 2018


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