Aug. 26, 2017

"Is it worth the fight?"

If I could give advice to parents of teenagers, the advice would be to choose your battles wisely. When we make everything a battle, we lose our leverage in relationships; all relationships.

Someone asked me this week if “fighting” on social media is worth it? I guess it really depends on what you consider fighting. Discussions aren’t necessarily fighting. It took me most of my life to realize arguing isn’t fighting. I am just now allowing myself to engage in conversations that aren’t always pretty.

My advice for myself is the same: I try to choose my battles wisely, but I don’t have to walk away from disputes.

I am willing to fight when a fight is necessary. If it is something that I feel passionately about or when I believe God asks me to share my voice, I will stand up. Even if I am standing against someone I love. Paul put it this way, “And after you have done everything, to stand.” Paul knew there would spiritual battles that move beyond human arguments. He had his fair share of disputes requiring him to stand firm.

Of course, more often than not, it isn’t worth a fight. Many times, I choose to hide a post because I know if I do engage, the battle will not be a wise one. It took me 59 years to realize that we don’t have to agree on everything all the time. Disagreeing isn’t fighting.

I find it scarier if we do agree on everything 100% of the time. Relationships that do not engage in conversation and disagree from time to time are typically emotionally-dead relationships. I’m certainly not condoning knock-down-drag-out fights but I do believe the saying that where there is no conflict, there is a lack of intimacy.

We get to know one another better by our willingness to be true to our true self. It is important that we be fully honest and clearly authentic in our intimate relationships. I am not going to pour my heart out to the guy on the street, but I am going to pour my heart into anyone God puts in my path.

Read and think about this verse: “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Matthew 10:37

Read the verse again and think about it again. The most important relationship in our lives is our relationship with God. When we fail to remain completely true to Him, it results in relational failures across the board.