Jun. 17, 2017

Dwayne, go to your room.

I’m 59. Let’s go ahead and get that out of the way. In one more year, I will be 60.  Keep in mind that 60 is the new 40. (Yes, I am trying to make myself feel better.)

While watching The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon one night, Tommy and I listened to an interview with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. We like Dwayne. We liked Dwayne when he was in “The Mummy” series as the Scorpion King. We loved him in St. Andreas. In fact, if I were younger and lived in Hollywood, Tommy might just have a run for his money.

After watching the interview on late night TV (and since we’re old), Tommy and I went to bed. Before falling asleep, Tommy asked, “Is it bad if I want to go see Baywatch?” Being someone who watched Baywatch “back in the day” and being an avid “Friends” fan where Baywatch was part of the show’s humor, my reply was, “Tommy, you are almost 60 years old. If you want to go see Baywatch, we will go see Baywatch. I think we are too old to be led astray by a movie.”

I must admit that, as a mother, I am very disappointed in Dwayne. In fact, if I were Dwayne’s mother, I’d send him to his room.  OMGosh.

Besides hearing the “F” word approximately 255 times in less than a two-hour period, some of the content of the movie was just….well, gross. During his interview with Jimmy Fallon, Dwayne said, “We really pushed the envelope with this one. We pushed it just about as far as it would go.” Yep. That’s an understatement.

As I sat in the movie, several things came to mind: 1) Tommy really wanted to see this movie for Father’s Day; 2) It’s okay to walk out, we’ve done that before when a movie was offensive; and, 3) Why in the world did Dwayne Johnson (the highest paid actor today) see all this as necessary to be funny? The entire Baywatch series was funny. Making fun of the Baywatch series is really a joke in itself. What’s really sad is it could have been a great movie without all the penis jokes. Dwayne, how old are you?

I’m growing increasingly frustrated with grown men trying to act like Junior High-aged boys. We have a President that tweets like a twelve year old and now this. I have to tell you, Dwayne, I was just fine with your PG13 movies.

But, let’s go back where we started: I’m old. Well, I’m not old, but I am getting older. You want to know the truth? I wouldn’t have sat through that movie when I was young.

Good grief.