Apr. 6, 2017

Every Child


He could be any child. She could be every child. The child was born into a family with great promise. Perhaps the child was born into a family of grief and turmoil. Regardless, he was just a child. She was only a child.

The child witnessed the shouting and the arguments. He felt insecure and afraid. She wondered if her parents would split up. Sadly, the child understood the word, “divorce.” Just about every child at school had already been through it.

The child grew up mentally entirely too quickly. He changed the diapers of younger siblings. She had to prepare meals without being taught the ins and outs of cooking. Some children are referred to as “latch-key children.” He didn’t know what that meant exactly. She was afraid to go into the house alone. Every. Single. Day.

The child seemed to be frozen in time emotionally. Without emotional nourishment, he had a hard time developing into a confident male. She struggled with self-esteem and self-image.

One year was especially bad. It was the first year after the parents broke up. Oh, the arguments stopped. Nobody talked at all; especially not to one another. Pretty soon, they stopped talking altogether. With time, no one seemed to care they weren’t talking. He shut down his emotions. She pretended not to notice.

The parents were so focused on their own problems and their own survival, he felt cast aside. She felt unimportant. Invisible.

His dad no longer lived with them. Her mom cried most of the night – every night. The child felt alone and afraid. He didn’t want to ask too many questions. She was afraid the questions would only cause more pain.

The child tried to remember what it was like to have a mother and a father in the home. He was afraid that all the memories of his family were slipping away. She didn’t remember what it felt like to have both parents kiss her goodnight every night or to have one of them read her a bedtime story while the other tucked her into bed.

Too often we say, “Don’t stay together for the sake of the children.” Why isn’t anyone suggesting, “Don’t have children if you don’t plan on staying together.”

The subject causes a lot of pain. And guilt. The divorced feel discriminated against when the subject is addressed. The unfaithful have all the reasons in the world why the new person in their life meets their needs more than the one that originally said, “I do.”

Does God expect couples to stay together their entire life? Is that really possible? Can’t children recover from a divorce better than they thrive in an unhappy home? What about forgiveness? What about grace? There are a lot of unhappy children coming out of happy homes. What about them?

Every child deserves to live the Plan A for their life. Every child has the right to expect the mother and the daddy that created them to remain committed to them throughout their lifetime. Each child wants positive experiences in life. All children need the most optimal circumstances in which to thrive.

He needs a father. He loves his mother. She really needs to know her father loves her. She really needs to feel loved by her mother.

Bless the beasts and the children. The health and welfare of both depend on the adults in the world to do the right thing. And, it’s never too late to do the right thing.

NOTE: This blog is not an under-handed jab at anyone and is not directed at specific people. It is merely one person’s observation in a world where relationships seem to be disposable.