Even if, even when, even though...
I had to make a hard decision one day not so long ago. I had to decide whether or not to report something I knew. I was aware that by not telling I allowed everyone to live happily ever after – even if the “happiness” was a lie.
Sometimes I am angry at God for making me such a direct person. Sometimes I wish I could live with my head in the clouds pretending all is well – even when I know it is not.
This decision involved people I love dearly. The issue was controversial and hurtful. I believe the easy thing would have been to let it go and not tell anyone believing that my silence would somehow make it all go away. Again, sometimes I am angry at God for creating me in such a way that I ask for truth, seek truth, and tell the truth – even when it hurts.
I can’t think of a better person to bring this issue to light than myself. I believe God knew that, too. I was a person intimately involved in the situation. I believe God knew that I was the only person in the world that has heard and knows all the history building up to this one moment in time. I was the right person to reveal the issue – even if ignoring it would have been much easier.
My prayer time prior to the revelation went something like this, “Maybe I am making too big of a deal out of this? Maybe we can just pretend it never happened.” God responded, “Be brave.” I rationalized saying, “I shouldn’t have to always be the one facing problems head on. When do I get to rest?” God responded, “Be brave.” I prayed, “What if I don’t want to be brave? What if I am tired? What if I don’t want to face the difficult truth either? If everyone else is willing to ignore the signs, why can’t I?” To which God replied, “Because you are brave – even when you don’t want to be.”
I’ve faced the consequences of my vulnerability and willingness to handle the hard stuff. I’ve paid dearly. It doesn’t feel good and I can’t really say that I feel like I’ve helped the situation by drawing attention to it. When I throw that up to God, He responds, “Remain brave. Time will reveal all truth. When time reveals the hard truth, people will remember you were willing to address it in its early stages. You were not willing to look the other way or minimize it. Your honesty was meant for good – even though others saw it as evil.”
I went to my mom and dad licking my wounds. I shared with them that I wasn’t certain I had done the right thing in being so transparent. You know what my earthly mom and dad said? They said, “Someone has to be brave and be willing to address issues early on before they get out of hand. You can stand tall knowing you are brave enough to face reality – even when nobody appreciated it.”
“So we have seen and proved that what the prophets said came true. You will do well to pay close attention to everything they have written, for, like lights shining into dark corners, their words help us to understand many things that otherwise would be dark and difficult. But when you consider the wonderful truth of the prophets’ words, then the light will dawn in your souls and Christ the Morning Star will shine in your hearts.” 2 Peter 1:19
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