Aug. 19, 2015

Confidently Crazy

Church people, myself included, want to tell the rest of the world how to think and how to behave, but we certainly do not want anyone (our spiritual siblings included) telling us how we should run things.  If anyone, spiritual siblings included, has the guts or audacity to question our motives, we just call them crazy.  And, guess what?  It works. 

Take for instance calling a pastor to a local church body.  Most denominations have some type of appointment system allowing more experienced leaders at a bigger-picture level to make good decisions on where a church is lacking and what type of leadership a church needs in order to mature. I’ve seen African American pastors placed in all-white congregations just to shake things up.  After being shook up, what came out the other side was much more Christ-like than before. I’ve seen women appointed in communities where domestic violence still runs rampant. The belief is that having a woman in leadership will launch healthy discussions regarding the roles of men and women. Boy, that sounds crazy to me.  How about you? 

Others still utilize a very business-like,  manmade process called, “the search committee.”  No one has ever questioned why they use a search committee. We certainly cannot show you any Scripture that authorizes the use of a search team. However, we have always done it that way and remember, church people do not want anyone telling us we could possibly be wrong. If you step over that line – you are crazy. (Could you be a quieter kind of crazy, please?) 

Churches are not just tax-exempted.  They are also exempt from fair hiring practices.  The Bible gives them permission to be discriminatory.  Just ask us.  We will show you all kind of verses that gives us  permission to be above the law.  After all, we are more spiritual than most so we (church people) just know exactly what God meant in some verses where He picked women to lead but then allowed Paul to overlook women when forming some (not all) of his early church plants.  We know we are right and we know that it is okay to be discriminatory because that is what denominational seminaries teach our men. So, don’t be telling us that discrimination is not okay in the organized church.  We don’t want to hear that either. If you think our seminaries are wrong – well, you are just crazy. 

We also want to take the search process a step further.  We are just certain, in our arrogance, that we know just the right age of male that will be best for our congregation.  Not only does a pastor have to have a penis.  These days, he must have a perky penis.  Typically, we want someone under-40 to pastor our church.  See, that way nothing is really expected of us as members to get out and actually lead people to Christ or invite them to church. That’s our pastor’s job.  That’s why he has to be young, attractive, our preferred race, dress well, and do everything we tell him to do in a timely fashion. (Geez, why wouldn’t anyone want these jobs? They must be crazy!) 

We are quite certain, since we are so smart, that younger adults stopped going to church because our pastors were too old.  You realize when a man crosses over 40, he is less effective in reaching people. And, we know that  it is 100% up to the age of the male pastor to draw people in and keep their attention.  

I wonder if anyone has stopped to think that the biggest reason young adults stopped coming to church is because of the way church people believe and behave? Hmmmmmm?  Naw, that’s just crazy.